Home > Whimsey > From our correspondent in New York

From our correspondent in New York

United Nations Building, 19.25, 3rd February 2010

Emergency Session of the Security Council

United States: Okay, so what happened?

Israel: It was, it was Iran.  I was jus’ looking at the moo-cows out the window and Iran pinched me!

Iran: Didn’t!  Big fibber! And and you stole my ice cream!  And, and…

Israel: Didn’t, I didn’t steal it, it was mine!  So I pinched back and got Tehran and then Iran slapped me with Anthrax.

Iran: It was mine!  Venezuela gave it to me.  It had a flake innit and everything!

China: I’m not clear on how hair pulling and the theft of Venezuela’s ice cream is of sufficient magnitude to trigger a nuclear exchange.

United Kingdom: What flavour ice cream?  That might be an important factor.

China: There are no circumstance where the perceived superiority of one flavour over any other flavour of ice cream can directly lead to the airbursts of megaton-rated thermonuclear devices over Tehran and Tel-Aviv-Jaffa.  Did it contain nuts?

United States: Why didn’t Venezuela give us an ice cream?

Russia: Venezuela told us it was because you smell.

United States: Your mom smells.

France: You both smell.  OW!  Iran just pinched me!

Iran: Didn’t!  And you stole my ice cream!

United Kingdom: What flavour?


And on it goes.  Perhaps without end.

We can all rest easy in our beds knowing the fate of the world rests in such capable hands.

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: