Archive for the ‘I'm being hard on myself’ Category

Push, Pull, Eat, Drink. Part One

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment

Stay with me on this one, I’ve got this thing crystallising in my mind and I want to get it written down before it melts.

Wouldn’t it be so much better if instead of posting the contents of an idea, I just wrote about the idea itself – that is the thought in my mind?  Like a meta-tought post?  I mean easier.  For me.

I just think about what I’m thinking instead of having the thought primary in itself.  A bit like I’m watching myself think.  I’m firmly in the saddle when I’m doing the immediate things, speaking, going through my daily sum of operations, but when I really think I immediately step out of the idea and search for its backdoor I suppose.  I’m running the extreme risk of having some student of psychology tell me I’m schitzo or something, but believing that I do that these quacks would have work enough breathing and blinking if they had to live inside this mind let alone consuelling me on mental disorders thereof, I’m not giving a good shit if they do or not.  It’s their keyboards they’d be poking, not me.

At what stage does a professional partnership reach the stage of familiarity where each partner openly sends up their opposite, where the act becomes the act?  Where the object of humour is the Partnership, rather than what the Partnership produces – say sketch comedy.  I mean used to provide – now all it provides is observations on itself.  A feedback loop if you will, where the original source has been overpowered by the laminated, coiled mash of its previous iterations.

At what stage does a double-act bite the shark?  Jump the biscuit?

Bite the shark?

And so what if the double-act – at the apogee of its creative powers – decides to flick two fingers up to the pre-destined natural life-cycle of the Partnership, steal a march on the barbarians storming the frontiers of the maturing cheese empire of their mixed-metaphor schtik, and die a dignified death on live television.

On Dancing on Ice..


Breaking the news…

October 9, 2009 Leave a comment

Other: You know what?

Fog: What?

Other: No you don’t know what.  You never know what.

Fog: Know what?

Other: Why do you never know what?

Fog: What don’t I know?

Other: You don’t know why you never know what?

Fog: I never knew.

Other: You never know why you never know.

Fog: What’s not never not to know?

Other: You don’t know why you’ve never known why you never know?

Fog: Do you know why I never know why I never knew why I never know?

Other: You don’t know if I know why you’ve never known what you never do?

Fog: Don’t you know if you know why I’ve never known what I never knew not knowing?

Other: You don’t know if I know why you never knew what you didn’t know?

Fog: I’ve never known.

Other: You never do.

Fog: I know.

Other: I’m pregnant.

Fog: What?

Other: I’m pregnant.

It’s turtles all the way down.

October 2, 2009 Leave a comment

The deep-thinkers of cognitive science postulate that the only way to outflank the gnawing problem of the Homunculus (that’s the little guy pulling all the levers inside your head) and it’s infinite regression of nested Russian dolls as we tumble down a rabit hole of wondering if your Homunculus has an even smaller genie in his head, and then wondering about that little chap’s Homunculus, and so on into infinity, is to abandon entirely the conception of some kind of indivisible seat of conciousness within your underutilised brains and credit all your thoughts as being sentient and self-aware in themselves.

This raises interesting thoughts in paliative self-help for those mired in an existencial malaise.  If troubling, confusing thoughts rise up from the pit of your soul and undermine the essense of your being, just – like – think different thoughts or something.  Duh!

Futhermore, if – like me – you find that the collective assemblage of thoughts jostling through your waking hours seem to be set at subtle but infinitely annoying cross-purposes, simply revisualise your mind as less of a miracle of evolution and more of a moody pub full of cantankerous peasants whom have embraced surliness as a way of life.  We have to conclude that your mind, like mine, is simply not working properly, never will, and is in any event undoubtedly way past its warranty period.  Abandon conceits of sanity and welcome derangement and mental decline as you would an old drinking buddy.  Relax, put your feet up, and get royally bladdered.

Foggy out.

A comforting chant

September 19, 2009 Leave a comment

This is my Angle, this is my blog.

There are many blogs like it, but this one is mine.

Without me, my blog is nothing.

Without my blog, I am nothing…

No, no.  That’s not right.  I have a life.  I have a life!  Stop laughing!

Cross purposes, I speak at

September 17, 2009 Leave a comment

Look at my thoughts on ambition, then read my clarification, then tell me I’ve not got a problem with internal consistency.

Does anybody know what I mean?  Do I?

Are you allowed ambitions as long as they don’t involve Banking, Finance or Government?

What if your Banking Ambition is to destroy all Banking?

Mind you, that’s unoriginal to say the least.  Judging by the results, an awful lot of people in the world of money had that very ambition, and by gods didn’t they nearly manage it?  Bloody good show!  Better luck next time!