Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Flip’

Continuity service announcement.

October 2, 2009 Leave a comment

The team here at Foggy Bunghole Towers happily receive written correspondence.  Especially that which is not addressed to them, but no particular policy has yet been put in place to destroy correctly delivered hate mail, so we read the lot.

Simply write – using a pen and your fingers – on paper – your query, observation or bellicose diatribe over whatever I may mave pissed you off about most recently, pop it in an envelope addressed to… whomever you want, and then throw it in the bin.  Rest assured this mild cathartic gesture will ease your troubled thoughts, and save me the hassle of reading, digesting, giving a damn about, and in particular disposing of your scrawled death threats.

Quick Tip!  By stockpiling junkmail, ominous communications from financiers, final demands, notification of Jury service, statements and your 9 trillion assorted menus from local Pizza Delivery holes for three years or so, you will have sufficient fuel for a handsome bonfire that will be visible from high earth orbit for several weeks, and generate more electromagnetic flux than all but the largest of stellar globular clusters.  There’s no impediment to creativity.  Careful pyre design reaps rich rewards!  Nothing beats beaming obsene imagery at the crew of the ISS, and passing Alien motherships if you’re lucky.

Advertisements
Categories: Uncategorized Tags: